Fill out your death card or your internet friends may never know.

Older than the internet.

It only makes my penis harder.

Respect me for me. Or because I'll beat the holy crap out of you. Really, it's your choice.

Entertaining the internet since 1996

I have never lol'd so much at ice cream.

Even if you spend your whole life combatting the forces of capitalism, you still might wind up on a t-shirt sold in a store owned by the Gap.

Because they're delicious

Your penis is now stone

Communism worked in theory too......