It only makes my penis harder.

Respect me for me. Or because I'll beat the holy crap out of you. Really, it's your choice.

Entertaining the internet since 1996

I have never lol'd so much at ice cream.

Even if you spend your whole life combatting the forces of capitalism, you still might wind up on a t-shirt sold in a store owned by the Gap.

Because they're delicious

Your penis is now stone

Communism worked in theory too......

Let's face it, a lot of it is porn. (Pretty odd porn, too.)

There's nothing Photoshop can't fix!